Be Still, and Know that I am God
It was a dark night, long ago. Things were happening faster than I comprehend them. To me it felt like the sky was falling in, caving like a roof with too much weight on it, not to mention an earthquake underneath. There was no where to run to, nowhere to hide. I had exhausted all my resources. It was all I could do to just hold on...
I had done nothing wrong. I was an innocent bystander in a huge mess that was beyond me. There was no one to turn to. Escape as I may have tried resulted in only delaying the inevitable. I was loosing an uphill battle.
At which time I fell to my knees, uttered a humble prayer, and asked for help. And the response came that I was not alone, that He was there. He knew my pain, and what I was going through. And like the above scripture says, He was God. He had a plan, and there was a way forward. While I did not understand how, or why, or ... anything about it, I knew I could trust Him.
And that was enough. The peace I felt did not take away the pain, but it supported me through it. I was directed on what I needed to do, and that hardship became a great blessing in my life, one that I am grateful for.
Be Still My Soul
Life is not about having a carefree ride. It comes with ups and down, joys, heartache and pain... it is the great classroom.
We all like doing things that are fun. We hang out, build things, watch a good movie, and go do things that we like. Yet what I have found is that while these things are good, they are not the best place to build a foundation for life.
And this song "Be Still My Soul" sums up one of the big ones for me:
Be still, my soul: The Lord is on thy side;
With patience bear thy cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In ev'ry change he faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: Thy best, thy heav'nly Friend
Thru thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
That is one of the more basic things that I have come to rely on. To build upon. People are awesome, but they aren't always there to hold you up. I can only watch movies once and then I have to move onto another (praying it's a good one). The things I build break apart or loose their awesomeness.
The problem is they change, they pass. What once was great is now normal, and what I once could rely on is now threatening to drop me.
That is why I build my life on His ground. There just isn't anything to match that assurance that when the "sky" of my life tries to come crashing down, when I'm on His ground, in His care, it can't hurt me like it could before. It can cause me pain, but it's damage is blocked.
Abide with me
And an instrumental version if you, like me, know the words and just want to hear the music:
When other helpers fail and comforts flee,
Help of the helpless, oh, abide with me
I've known that feeling. You're going along, skimming the surface without getting down into anything really meaningful. Apathy sets in, and you stay with the what's comfortable. It's like going to a buffet and only eating the rolls they bring you. That to me seems like a terrible nightmare.
Yes, they are fun. I'm not saying they are bad. Just that they pass with time. Think of that awesome movie you watched years ago, and how you rewatched it recently and it wasn't nearly as good as you remember. Or that project that changed your life... and you have probably forgotten that you even did it.
No, I have found the best peace from Him. From the quiet moments that I have taken out of my busy day and given to thinking, pondering, study, prayer, meditation... drawing close to Him and understanding that He really is God.
He knows me through and through. He knows my great strengths, and my weaknesses. Things I don't want anyone to know about, He knows, and yet He still cares about me. He still wants me to succeed, to be happy. It comes with no strings, no ifs. Nothing beats that.
Does it mean I do whatever I want,and He'll love me anyways. Of course not. Because that's not love. Love creates a place where dreams and hopes become a reality. Where we become the people we really want to be.
He is the best support I have to become that. And I have seen the same in other's lives. He really is reliable. He really is true on His word. When I trip, He catches me. When I slack, He wakes me up. When I get down, He raises me up. And then when I step up to the plate, ready and willing, He helps me hit it out of the stadium. All without expectation of anything more than my best effort. Without judgement or complaint, He is always there.
And that makes all the difference.