Being a Disrespected Man while still being Happy
Have you ever been disrespected just because you were a guy? When someone mocked you, or thinks you're dumb, a brute, or even less than an animal?
It's terrible, isn't it!? And why does it hurt so much? Because we feed off of "respect" from others, especially from those we care about.
In a previous post called "Men need Respect to Thrive" I showed how others can respect a man. Well, here's the other side of the coin to show some things a man can do to thrive and live a respectful life in such a disrespectful world.
Show Respect First and Be Humble. Never wait for someone else to show respect to you first before you do. That's a selfish way to do it. Instead, show respect to them first. It may not win them over, but they have a much better chance of respecting you that way than you waiting on them. And it will help you to grow as a man, and to be the bigger person. ("Don't get cocky!")
Be active in the things you love. Everyone has things that they love. I love drawing, coding, writing, and piano. And it helps me to focus on things that I love and to help my soul grow a bit more when I do them. Make a list of the things you love and do them, such as hiking, biking, volunteering, joining a club that does something you like, learning a skill that you're not good at, or
Volunteer and Serve. You can do a lot of good for others, and it feels great to do so. You're not the only one who hurts, and this can broaden your horizon. You can meet other people all the while. Places to volunteer may be found in your city government centers, library, church, community, and many other places.
Redirect other's comments and anger. At the same time you can't control others. People will say mean things to you. It's going to happen. What you can do about it is remember that people you don't know may just be mad at the world and men and everything. It's not you. And those that do know you may be trying to tell you something. Take what you can and learn from. Then let go of the rest.
Don't give in to anger Ya, that probably sounds like Star Wars, but it's true. Don't allow others to get under your skin. Stand up for yourself and be the better one. (Keep the humility though). Remember that they have just been tricked by others, and may not know that what they are doing is wrong and hurtful. And most of todays shows and teachings focus on being disrespectful. Win their trust, and then let them know. Help them be better.
Own up to and Fix Your Mistakes. We all make mistakes. But that doesn't mean we should suffer for them forever. If those that are disrespecting you have a reason for doing so, and you've done or are doing something wrong, fix it. Ask for forgiveness. Share your desire to change with those you may have hurt. If you can't or have already, and you believe in Christ, remember that he suffered for our sins and afflictions. He saw our lives and knows the way out. Ask Him for help. If you believe in someone/thing else, read your scriptures and find your path. Either way, correct your mistakes as much as possible, learn from them, and don't do them again (And if you do repeat them, then once again correct them. Keep trying.) Then let go of the rest. You aren't superman. You were never expected to be perfect.
Respect yourself. This is important. It's easy if others are disrespecting us for us to decide to not respect ourselves. To think badly of ourselves. But what good does that do? None. Instead, remember that you have value and worth that doesn't change. So humble yourself, and remember that you are just like anyone else. If you are supposed to respect others, why not yourself?
Be around those that respect and care about you. If you find yourself around those that constantly cut you down, you may have to find other people to be around that can build you up. Of course we shouldn't have friends just to build us, but being around constantly negative friends aren't good either. If you can make it better, do so. If you can get them to be better themselves, all the better.
Learn Mindfulness. Mindfulness is a great technique to separate yourself from others and their harmful ways. It helps you to see the difference between a thought and you, and how they are separate and how you can direct, guide, or even let them go altogether.
Be Happy. Yes, It may seem cliché, but being positive really helps on our outlook, our health, and our overall joy. It's not about ignoring the bad. It's about looking at the good, finding it, and having faith in a better future.
Take Care of Yourself. Take care of your health. Exercise and get enough sleep. Take care of your emotions, don't bottle things up. Expand your mind. Read and ponder on ideas. Spend time with friends and hobbies.
You have a lot more power and control over these sorts of things than you may know. You can make your own choices and grow in strength from them. You are not at the whim of the world. You are more powerful than you know.